That crippling kind of phenomenon where one’s senses were locked up in a vacuous has led me to void. It was like I have lost my sense of sight in an instant; lost the patience to try to listen, understand, and shed tears to whom I have encountered with. I was too preoccupied with my own inadequacy that I forgot to see beyond their words left unspoken.
Perhaps, it’s the resulting curse when you lost the passion to get in touched with the feeling of others and deny your own. It was like a disease in which the only cure is to look back and try to remember why you’re here in the first place. Why you chose to have faith rather than be reasonable, for instance.
If you try to rummage what’s really in there that you worked hard for, inclined with your field, serving people for instance, in which you think you have to put the correct amount of attitude or humility for its sake. Then that. Why was so much fervent? What is there that you hope for? Or how about that deafening crux roads in your life where you have to make extreme decision whether you still stay to make believe that you are truly happy for the current course and be peevish for the rest of your life, or be otherwise.
As if you just unraveled an access to reality from being blindfolded for ages that has resulted to these paralyzing bifurcation. It’s crippling, indeed. It’s like a frightening cancer or concussion that obstruct and falter your every reason to live.
I remembered, once a biblical man once said that you gain nothing from this world. all is vanity. It’s just like chasing the wind.
So, it will matter only if you seek the reason why you’re here.